petak, 2. rujna 2011.

What is it with woman and DIET !?

 
Seriously! What is the thing with women and diet's...
I have a girlfriend for a few years now...and from the day I met her she is always doing these stupid diet's and it's really starting to pis me off! I wouldnt say one word to her if she was some chubby pig, But she really isn't!!! I think that this is slowly becoming a bad habit...now I will try to present to you how is it to live with a "Diet maniac" I'll describe some of her diets!!!
She's been on a diet for like years as I said. 
She progresses from one diet to another.
Working a diet for a while, Then she announces the discovery of the next 'better diet' (lol there are all the same)
Like there's the Weigh Down diet
This is a diet where you can eat what you want, but only when your hungry.
Sounds good doesn't it?
The catch is 'Weigh Down' has redefine what hungry is. 
And it's not the 'I feel hungry' you and I know.
Weigh Down's hungry happens hours later. 
Your not allowed to eat until your stomach is growling. 
And that happens like once in a day....ONCE A DAY! 
But that's not where the fun ends on 'Weigh Down'  
I've been starving myself for like 36 hrs. waiting for my stomach to growl.
And I'm thinking, when I do get to eat I'm gonna make it count.
But just as I'm gonna dig in my girlfriend says 
"Honey, you know your only supposed to eat until your satisfied right?" 
I say with a huge hungry smile on.. "YEAHHHH".
My smile goes south as I find out those Weigh Down nazis have redefined what full is too.
Weigh Down's full is called 'Satisfied' 
And Satisfied isn't the full you and I know. 
It's just after your tummy stops feeling "Weigh Down" hungry. 
And that was halfway through what I intended to eat.
"That's it?!" I say. "Yes dear now your Satisfied" (look of dismay)
You notice by now that I'm on this diet, right? 
That's because I inevitably find myself on some of these diets with her. 
I don't want to be on a diet but she wants me to join her in it. 
I think she wants company or something. 
Someone to mown with when the going gets tuff. 
"Dear! Is there any chocolate hidden somewhere?" 
(she'll call out to me in one of her weak moments) 
You see she's thinking if I were on the program with her, 
I'd have her back in this battle and together we would defeat the enemy. 
Yes, the dreaded three headed Fat Demon. 
He's the one responsible for planting evil yummy thoughts in her mind. 
Yummy suggestions that lead to reminiscent rememberings of palate pleasing orgies. 
Like the Chocolate fudge binge last Tuesday evening that left her shaking on the floor with a guilty Monalisa smile on her face. 
If I were dieting with her this might not have happened. 
I would have jumped to her side when Fat Demon showed up and together, 
Like Skinny Samurais, we would have protected each other. 
Back to back with swords drawn we would've slain Fat Demon and cut off his three heads. Sending fatty goo spewing all over us and the room. 
Then we'd do our victory dance like two mud wrestling hotties covered with......
.......................... KhmMM :)
Sorry.... what was I talking about again? OH yeah diets...
My point is if you really need to go on a diet...don't do it on your hand.
First thing you got to do is consult some doctor or nutritionist and than decide...
Cheeeeers ...

30 komentari:

Michael Westside kaže...

"This is a diet where you can eat what you want, but only when your hungry."

Why in Gods name would you eat if you're not hungry? I don't get it? It's not like you go out and be like "imma eat because it's cool!"

MRanthrope kaže...

Stupid diets can be annoying...but it's better than dating a fatty/whale right?!

Electric Addict kaže...

starving your self is a bad diet. just don't eat large amounts of carbohydrates/sugar and you'll be fine.

My 2 Pesos kaže...

Do diets even exist? LOL

GMSoccerPicks kaže...

Im a man and men dont go on diets. Perhaps a bacon diet but that's it.
My GF is free to get on whichever diet she wants as long as she keeps looking good.

DEZMOND kaže...

it's not just the girls :) I'm on a lifelong diet too :))) and it doesn't really help me :)

Rob kaže...

Diet = Die with a t.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade kaže...

I think "I'm going on a diet" is a code for "I don't care if my boobs shrink."

So no, I've never attempted one.

Pickleope kaže...

Have you introduced her to bulimia? Personally, I prefer using excessive laxatives, but bulimia is cheaper. If you have a bit of cash, you can always go with heroin. Heroin addicts look great...and make good music.

By the way, Lemons, that was really funny.

Jozzy kaže...

I think women just need to learn to accept their bodies, and be healthy, not model-thin. I myself eat a small meal every 2 to 3 hours. It keeps your metabolism going, thus keeping you from binging later. It's a really bad idea to starve yourself.

Damon kaže...

nice post

Bloggerage kaže...

@Michael Westside, some people eat when they are bored.


Most of the people who diet are allredy skinny and are just idiots.

Flippy Doodle kaže...

I love this rant! XD

Diets are just so bloody stupid, seriously, they all suck. People don't even understand is that if you eat healthy, balanced food, and exercise daily, you won't need to do any of these ridiculous things.

Even worse are detox diets, where people only drink lemon juice for a week or something, and throw up. Very bad for your well being.

And thanks for the follow and comment. I guess we just gotta make our way through college one way or the other.

coneforce kaže...

@Bloggerage @Flippy Doodle I couldn't agree more!!!

Inverse kaže...

Diets sucks. I prefer eating what I want and working out like a MOTHER!

Shockgrubz kaže...

I hope you the best on these diets. Gotta be worth it, in the end.

my day in a sentence kaže...

Dude, I know.
My gf looks like a goddess and she thinks she's fat. When the Blake Lively nudes leaked, I showed them to her next to her own photos. 'Cause that's how she looks naked. And she was really happy when she realised how hot she was.
And that lasted about a day. The next day, she was on her diet again. -.-'

Chintan kaže...

i do not like to diet at all....eat whatever you like and exercise :) food is all we live for.....my girl friends who do not eat properly, i eat loads of butter and stuffed paranthas in front of them to make them suffer :D

Foxzero kaže...

Haha i dont have a girlfriend now but i had a friend before that was just like that
in the end she gave up on diets and now she is fat xD still she got a good boyfriend

anyway there are a lot of girls like that - is mostly said that is weird not to find a girl that not think about diet or look good lately XD

Natural One kaže...

Well if she didn't diet, she'd probably start gaining weight like crazy. Either way, skinny or chubby is fine with me.

Ting Kubby kaže...

Try and talk to her about it, diets can become an unhealthy obsession easily,

Mr Jack House kaže...

you know what to do!

Heaven. kaže...

Diets are stupid. Eat in moderation.

Gizmo kaže...

My gf has never been on diet, and she's the slim...just eat normally

H A R R Y G O A Z kaže...

Have a SUPER week !

kwile kaže...

Lmao, I enjoyed this. 1, because I've been in that situation, and 2, because I know too many people that do the many different diets, and it just annoys the hell outta me now.

A. kaže...

Aw

Al3xaG kaže...

lol just make her feel comfortable with herself

T Papar kaže...

i try to keep my shape by not eating too much and having as much activity in my day as possible. its a bit challenging since my work has me sitting at my desk 8 hours but i manage quite well.

vic caswell (aspiring-x) kaže...

hahahahahaaaa! this was great. yeah, i'm terrible about diet issues. i always go on a diet for a couple weeks, give up for a month or two, and then go on another one... but never unhealthy ones. just, you know, eating food that takes time to prepare and stuff... and costs more... and my kids whine about... and my hubby is "allergic" too. ugh. :P

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